Expectations Kills the Joys of Life
Expectations in any form from others are biggest cause of
unhappiness without others knowing it.
We create a personality and situation of others which suits
us or which makes us happy.
Having expectations is not a bad thing but when it falls
short it becomes negative and makes one judgemental, critic and much more
depending upon the nature of expectations and creates a mess out of it and sew
own web of negativity out of unmet expectations of close relationships.
The best way forward is to have expectations from others but
when it is unmet don't punish yourself it is not your fault. It teaches that
having no expectations from others are the ideal situation one should work for
and if not then move on forgive and forget.
I also had my share of such experiences of several unmet
expectations from many close relationships and friendship in which escape was
not an option but to find out ways to accept it and move.
Many a times I was intentionally kept excluded, unwanted
which I never expected.
But it was a lifetime learning and in beginning I become
clueless, felt bad about it and trying to know the reason.
It took me sometime to figure out and understand fully that
it was not the relationship that is causing unhappiness due to unmet expectations
but my high expectations from the person/situation. I created it and when it
was unmet it is me who was suffering.
It was not their fault but mine to have such high
expectations in first place.
It is also true that the high expectations are usually with
persons who are close to you.
Then comes the biggest learning, why should I suffer by
these actions of others?
It is their decision.
Why should I feel unhappy about it?
However, moving to a state with no expectations is not an
easy task, it requires a complete mindset change, understanding others
situation and reasons help but many times knowing is harder. People shy away
telling the truth or don't want to share it.
It is an outcome of our desire and makes us to understand
that it is actually our creation.
The heartbreak out of unmet expectations matures us and
teaches us to keep being human and be tolerant, forgiving and keep embracing
the love and care of relationship.
In no way let these unmet expectations ruins your
relationship. Keep relationship above all these expectations and desire. Let
not the helplessness out of unmet expectations affects love , affection and
caring of relationship.
Carrying out relationship is art of living.
ReplyDeleteyes, well said. keeping it separate and knowing that it is inescable helps.
ReplyDeleteCould not have expected a crystal clear thinking about the most important thing in our lives.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we even feel let down by our own expectations.
Very nice treatment to the prevailing mental ailment during this time.
Congratulations for such a thoughtful write up.
It's my comment,
Deleteyou are right, we start visualizing our own expectations on others as well. and in case of our own expectation if it is unmet then we start blame game on others.
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