Prakash Kumar

🌟 The last day of 2024 feels like the perfect moment to pause and reflect on what has been an unexpected and transformative year. As I look back, I vividly remember the final week of 2023, entering 2024 with moderate enthusiasm and a sense of steady anticipation. However, the year unraveled in ways I could not have predicted, bringing challenges on professional, personal, and familial fronts from the very first week of January.  🎒 The year unfolded as a mixed bag of deep experiences and travel. There were highlights, including one international trip, three visits to Goa, several visits to Delhi, and journeys to Uttarakhand and Sikkim. Yet, these moments of travel and exploration contrasted with an overarching sense of internal reflection and reconciliation. 🛑 2024 became a "Pause Year" for me—a time of slowing down, both physically and mentally, to prepare for the next decade of life. It was a year marked by introspection, as I grappled with errors, unmet expectations, ...

From the pages of my old diary, dated 1.05.2014, 22:23: I find myself traversing a critical juncture in my life. Having completed 50 vibrant years and on the brink of turning 51, I am acutely aware of a palpable sense that something vital is missing. The exact nature of this absence eludes me, casting a restlessness and causing a noticeable dip in concentration. Life in Patna is relatively settled, with a fulfilling job soon marking its fourth year. The passing of Cecilia dealt a profound blow, a lingering sadness that calls into question the purpose behind our toil in navigating life's intricacies. There's a tug between embracing more of life or seeking solace in spirituality. The path is unclear, and the motivation sporadic. Restlessness sometimes reaches such heights that I yearn for refuge, leading to irritations that take weeks to dissipate. I grapple with deciphering the signals—lust, an inner desire to find meaning in halting meaningless work—confused by the jolting of ...

Reflections on the journey through 2023 have been a profound learning into the complexities of life, akin to navigating through a maze of professional, personal, emotional, sentimental and familial challenges. As I sit here in the final week of the year, the external facade of control belied the internal maelstrom that persisted, known only to the depths of my own being. At times I enjoyed this inner struggle to come out of the situation. Throughout this tumultuous but remarkable year, I endeavored to employ every learned life skill and experience to weather the storms, yet often found myself in the throes of inner turmoil, occasionally erupting into harsh external manifestations. While there were moments of brilliance, quietness, and remarkable events, the overarching narrative was one of enduring internal strife, conflict, and confusion.The solitude which I was used to was no where. In the midst of this chaos, I grappled with the struggle to exist in the present moment, wrestling wi...

Throughout my life, I have found myself intrigued by some of the pivotal choices I have made almost on a whim, leaving them to fate and chance. This tendency is not limited to me but it is a common thread among those close to me and in general in the society at large—friends and family alike. We often plunge into decisions without much thought, especially the big ones like education or marriage or career which has far reaching consequences in one's own life, family and society. Recently, I have noticed this pattern among those I know quite well, and the swift outcomes surprised me. It led me to ponder life's unpredictable twists and turns. Yet, despite introspection, I haven't quite found clarity. The debate about fate versus our own thoughtful action in crucial moments lingers. Some advocate for relying on education and intellect,for clear thinking, taking opportunities, and having a definitive life vision.This viewpoint dismisses leaving things to chance or tradition, urg...